Background

A single lightbulb flickered feebly on that sweltering, fetid summer night when two desperate people seeking solace from the madness of this world succumbed to their basest desires. Out of this sordid coupling, Ken Ward was conceived. Years of deprivation and depravation made him what he is today. Overcoming his hideous physical disfigurements, several as-yet unnamed syndromes, and many years of Catholic school may have dampened the boy's intellect, basic motor skills and sense of right from wrong, but not his indomitable spirit. His precocious musical gifts became apparent when, at the tender age of four, he composed "Mxyzptlk", a double string quartet with latte which consisted of three notes played repeatedly for 7 hours. Noted New York Times music critic Bartles James called the work "Vapid, insipid, and wholly without musical merit", although other critics were not as kind. As an adolescent he immersed himself in the repertoire of jazz, ultimately writing "The Girl From A Small Town Just South Of Ipanema", "Stella By Sunlight", and "Lust Life". The ensuing plagiarism suits were settled for an undisclosed amount. It was upon hearing the music of John Cage, most notably "4'33", that Ward took the direction that would mark the remainder of his career. He began sitting behind a keyboard at gigs for 4 hours without playing a single note. He later expanded on Cage's minimalistic concepts by not showing up for gigs altogether. Word of his exploits spread like wildfire, and soon he was invited to not play at most of the major concert halls and music venues of Europe and the Americas. Travelling to not play soon took its toll, however, and Ward moved to Houston, Texas and quickly fell out of sight. He can still be heard not playing at most of the music venues of Houston.

Location

Houston, Texas

Occupation

Jazz Pianist / Attorney / Bon Vivant / Raconteur / Phrenologist To The Stars

Music That Inspires Me

Mostly The Doodletown Pipers.

Films I'll Watch More Than Once

Rashomon, Barney's Great Adventure, and the seminal porno Saving Ryan's Privates